Complacency. A word that has plagued me for the past few days. An attitude that has been part and parcel of my life for many years. A state of being that is comfortable. Yet, when confronted with the reality that I am slowly slipping into a lifestyle of cliques, movies, eating out, spending money needlessly, always searching for the next “fun” thing to do, I am not comfortable. I am ashamed. I am frustrated with myself. How can I allow the temptation of comfort and the “good life,” (the American dream, in a nutshell) to take over my life? Why do I not stand up against such waste, such intellectual and spiritual suicide, when confronted with it every day? Because I am afraid those around me will not understand, will austracize me, will think I am crazy, because they have not learned the same things I have, have not been challenged the same way I have, do not view truth the same way I do.
Complacency. It has not been hard to let it seep into my life, especially because my family is under a bit of stress right now (health issues for my mom and grandpa). I stop putting effort into my spiritual life and do what is easy – read devotions only when I feel like it, watch television, hang out with friends doing nothing of consequence, listen to pop music about love and life and doing good things. All because these things are easy. Because they are not questioned by my family or culture at large.
What am I becoming? Just another follower of the American civil religion of Christianity? How can I sink so low when I know there is a higher way, a more difficult way, a narrow gate and path that only a few find, but that leads to life abundant, life eternal, life everlasting, life with a true purpose? How can I so easily forsake that way, the way of the cross, the way of Christ?
Jesus, help me.
What has become of your followers? What has become of the way of Christ? And what can I do about it? I do not want to criticize and complain and critique anymore, to simply go back to my complacent life and not change anything. How do I follow you as a way of life, forsaking the whore of Babylon? How do I literally follow your commands? Do I trust You enough, God, to literally leae everything I have behind and follow you? To sell all my possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Your Son? Will You be satisfied with me downsizing my possessions, or do You call for complete surrender? God, how do I do this? Can I do this? Do I trust You?