I am recognizing more and more lately just how deeply I can be moved through the arts and creative expression. Last semester, I discovered that I enjoy to paint (only when I don’t have an agenda, though…if I try to make something that doesn’t turn out, I get a little frustrated). In church, I have been freeing myself more and more to express my worship through sign language, dance, flags, and both a tambourine and bongo. Who knew Miss Math and Science girl had a creative side? She is glad she found it!
Ever since I began to play an instrument, music has been a powerful force in my life (as it is in many other people’s, I am sure). Lyrics get stuck in my head…I memorize melodic lines, especially to instrumental pieces I know well…my heart quickens and my emotions soar at the climax of the piece! Wow! Who knew that the creative nature could prove so life-giving and exhuberant?
And yet, there is a voice in the back of my head, throwing doubts upon my new-found love. “That’s all just emotionality. Emotions make you weak. It makes you less logical, which is inferior. Thriving off of emotions is for lesser people. You should not indulge in such…feasting, gorging of the emotions. ” That’s what I hear and feel…and it makes me doubt. Does my brain turn off whenever I’m “emotional”? Or can both my brain and emotions be engaged at the same time? Can I have the full experience of both?
I do not want to give up this new expressiveness. I will not. It lets me live!